The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
