i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
