Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
