did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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