Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
