We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize