Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
