she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
