he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
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