How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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