I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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