he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
