Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
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I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
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Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier