I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
being pregnant is like rehab
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?