Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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