even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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