The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
