For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
