I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
high people should be assigned attendants
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
