I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
