im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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