what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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