Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
