Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
the liver wants what the liver wants
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
