hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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