She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
