I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
