The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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