new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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