Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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