Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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