If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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