Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
