I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
