I should be sponsored by Trojan
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
