dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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