Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
