i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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