hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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