May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
