My nipple is on Facebook.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
