Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
