butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
