Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
