I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
