He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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