Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
