That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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