is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
