It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
