drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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