make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
