i just had sex bonerless
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize