He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
