mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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