she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
