I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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