Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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