She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
