I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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