i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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