I must be too annoying 4 u.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
