Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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