Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
