Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
